Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Infidelity Danger Zones, Proverb 5

Proverb 5 specifically speaks to a man and his ways of wondering, but it should be taken as a warning against both men and women. With families struggling financially to make ends meet, both husband and wife spend significant time away from each other at work. The close proximity with other individuals who are also struggling emotionally and looking for satisfaction from someone other than their spouse can be unbearable at times. Temptation to wonder. is around every corner.

Society today, tells women they rule, so the pressure on them is as likely to be as strong if not stronger than it is on men. As a rule, Men wonder for the need of physical attention, where as a woman is more likely to stray from the need for emotional attention they feel they cannot get at home. There are certain situations that should set off alarm bells of caution for couples, especially young couples early in their marriage.

If my brothers and sisters in Christ think this is just a problem in the secular world you would be wrong. Sadly, the statistics of marriages that collapse due to infidelity in a Christian home, are just as high as they are in the secular homes.

King David was a man after God's own heart, yet his wondering eye led the the death of a loyal soldier who's wife David had impregnated during an illicit affair. His infidelity eventually led to many troubles for him, his family, and his kingdom.

Here some situations that can lead to a weakness for both the husband and the wife, that I found at,

  • Whenever we're feeling insecure
  • During certain stages of life when we're still emotionally immature
  • If we allow ourselves to be comfortable with deception
  • When our resentment bucket is full (signs include feelings of being burdened; feelings of anger towards work, money, or life; feelings of bitterness toward spouse or situation)
  • When we link sex to self-worth or validation (signs include chronic cravings for attention, love or romance addictions, fear of being left out)

And then, there are those super-susceptible times of life which I call Red Zone Times.

Top Red Zone Times of Temptation

  1. The first seven months after a financial downturn or upturn
  2. The first seven months after a major life change (move to a new city, home, or country; job change; medical diagnosis; birth of a child; loss of a loved one)
  3. The first seven months after a promotion or job loss
  4. The first seven months after a tragedy, near death experience, or other trauma

And then, there are also certain things that make a marriage more vulnerable.

For example....

  1. Pregnancy or new baby: The incidents of infidelity have a tendency to increase just before or right after the birth of a new child
  2. Increase in responsibilities: This could include caring for an elderly parent, having a new (or bigger) mortgage payment
  3. Imbalance of financial power: Where one partner has far more earning ability than the other
  4. Rigid routines and heavy work schedules which result in the lack of consistent date nights, vacations, and adult-only time
  5. Too much time and distance apart

And there are certain pre-existing conditions which make a marriage more vulnerable.

For example....

  1. When couples have unrealistic goals and expectations for each other
  2. When the relationship becomes more co-dependent than cooperative
  3. When there is poor sexual communications
  4. When couples get lost in the Bermuda Triangle of marital conflict

The Bermuda Triangle of marital conflict refers to the top three issues that couples fight about: Sex, money, and time.

  • Marriages where partners argue (or feel resentful) about sex are more vulnerable to infidelity.
  • Marriages where partners fight about money are more vulnerable to infidelity.
  • Marriages where partners constantly argue about how to allocate time (including family time, personal time or work time) are more vulnerable to infidelity.

Again, this most excellent list comes from

It is in these moments that a marriage is at most risk of one or both falling to the temptation of infidelity. My suggestion in all cases is to communicate with each other and listen. Most of all though, ask God to guide you in your times of troubles. Pray for strength to withstand the waves of pressure that is always pounding at the foundation of your relationships. Remember, Satan is crouching at the door, just waiting for his chance to sift you, and destroy your bond of marriage.

Proverb 5 (NKJV)

The Peril of Adultery

Warning Against Immorality

01 My son, pay attention to my wisdom;
00 Lend your ear to my understanding,
02 That you may preserve discretion,
00 And your lips may keep knowledge.
03 For the lips of an immoral woman drip honey,
00 And her mouth is smoother than oil;
04 But in the end she is bitter as wormwood,
00 Sharp as a two-edged sword.
05 Her feet go down to death,
00 Her steps lay hold of hell.
06 Lest you ponder her path of life--
00 Her ways are unstable;
00 You do not know them.

07 Therefore hear me now, my children,
00 And do not depart from the words of my mouth.
08 Remove your way far from her,
00 And do not go near the door of her house,
09 Lest you give your honor to others,
00 And your years to the cruel one;
10 Lest aliens be filled with your wealth,
00 And your labors go to the house of a foreigner;
11 And you mourn at last,
00 When your flesh and your body are consumed,
12 And say:
00 "How I have hated instruction,
00 And my heart despised correction!
13 I have not obeyed the voice of my teachers,
00 Nor inclined my ear to those who instructed me!
14 I was on the verge of total ruin,
00 In the midst of the assembly and congregation."

15 Drink water from your own cistern,
00 And running water from your own well.
16 Should your fountains be dispersed abroad,
00 Streams of water in the streets?
17 Let them be only your own,
00 And not for strangers with you.
18 Let your fountain be blessed,
00 And rejoice with the wife of your youth.
19 As a loving deer and a graceful doe,
00 Let her breasts satisfy you at all times;
00 And always be enraptured with her love.
20 For why should you, my son, be enraptured by an immoral woman,
00 And be embraced in the arms of a seductress?

21 For the ways of man are before the eyes of the LORD,
00 And He ponders all his paths.
22 His own iniquities entrap the wicked man,
00 And he is caught in the cords of his sin.
23 He shall die for lack of instruction,
00 And in the greatness of his folly he shall go astray.

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