As you read the Proverbs, you must understand that while God meant for them to be learned by all of His children, Solomon shared the Wisdom he got from God in particularly for his sons. So when you read a proverb that is gender specific, there are lessons that women should also learn. Thus in today's Proverb, women should be looking for a Godly man, to help her raise the children to be wise Godly adults. So both men and women should be wise in whom they chose to marry, or they will be finding more joy outside of home, than they will inside it.
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Without a doubt, the two horrible things that can happen to a man is to marry an odious woman, or he can have foolish children. Both are disasters and make marriage and children very sober matters. The persons and relationships that should be for help and pleasure become like enemies. It is wisdom to carefully consider these potential threats and avoid them at all costs.
This proverb is priceless. The two matters at stake are very serious – an unhappy marriage or shameful children. Either one tortures and destroys a man over many years. A man enduring both faces daily pain hard to describe in words. But God gave this proverb by King Solomon to save you from both evils, and He reduced it down to one single, simple rule. Glorious wisdom! Incredible mercy and kindness! Keep reading!
A foolish son is also a horrible thing in a man’s life. It can steal the joy and life out of your soul, knowing that you generated and trained an idiot. The Preacher saw foolish sons, for he had foolish brothers, and his son Rehoboam was a fool. Read his pain and learn the sober lesson (Pr 10:1; 15:20; 17:21,25; 23:15-16,24-25; 29:3,15). It is wisdom to learn from the mistakes and pain of others – so pay attention and grasp this lesson.
A calamity is very grievous affliction or adversity; it is deep distress, trouble, and misery. It is a painful disaster. It is the turning of things upside down. It is a catastrophe and tragedy that bleeds the vitality from a father’s heart. This does not overstate the grief caused by a foolish son, for a son instead should be the joy of his father’s heart. And where a father could be thankful and honored, he is instead bewildered and despised.
As for the wife, understand that contentious women know how to get a man she can control, and a foolish man is her prize. They decorate the outside, their physical appearance, by many means, to capture his eyes. They hide and disguise what is inside, their character defects and faults, by a show of grace, respect, submission, and love. These efforts are made until the wedding is over. Then the odious wife makes her appearance (Pr 30:21-23)! And what a hideous and ugly sight she is! Poor fool!
The careless man now has a disease worse than cancer – he has fallen into the torments of hell on earth – he has fallen under a curse worse than death (Eccl 7:26). He must go home to this wretch every day for the rest of his life, and he has to sleep with her! He quickly learns to work extra hours, take up hobbies like hunting, or build a detached workshop to get away from the noise of this nagging and brawling creature (Pr 21:9,19; 25:24).
In public he tries to hide her, but how can he? She is as obvious as a huge sow attached to a small piece of gold jewelry (Pr 11:22). The poor man cannot avoid his great shame, for everyone sees he has married a repugnant and revolting corruption of the fairer sex (Pr 27:15-16). He knows both friends and enemies whisper about his horrible life at home.
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband, but the woman here is rottenness in his bones (Pr 12:4). So bitter is the pain of the wrong woman that Solomon thought it worse than death (Eccl 7:26). And he listed an irritating wife as one of the great curses of earthly life (Pr 30:21-23). The poor husband cries, “O precious death, take me from her!”
A contentious wife will question, discuss, debate, or oppose most anything. She presumes her ideas are at least as good as his. She constantly talks back. She is proud, stubborn, and self-righteous. She cannot follow; she must lead. She asks too many questions, makes too many suggestions, and does not cheerfully obey. She loves to correct her husband, who never gets facts just right. But she will seldom accept correction herself. She always has a reason why tonight is not a good night! Or why the next morning is not night!
The continual dropping here is a very rainy day (Pr 27:15). You cannot stop it; it keeps on dropping. You cannot stop her noise and resistance. These are not pleasant raindrops on a secure roof; they are the irritating drops of a leaking roof that destroy tranquility and peace. Any man who has tried to sleep near a leaking faucet understands perfectly. She is torture! The foolish son may be cast out; the contentious wife must be endured. The foolish son is in his room; the contentious wife is in your bed! O take me, precious death!
Therefore, let every man take great care how he marries and how his sons marry. Young fools do not know how to judge women, so fathers must help them, lest they are consigned to fifty years with this woman. Fathers, by the very nature of the relationship, you have more experience in marriage to a woman than your son has in the ignorance and folly of childhood and youth. You have been married longer than he has been alive!
It is a shame this rebellious generation thinks they can make this far-reaching decision on their own. So there is an epidemic of dysfunctional marriages, divorces, and adultery. Young man, it is far better to be lonely and frustrated in your own house and bed than to marry an odious woman and have to live and sleep with her for your entire future. There is something worse than being single and lonely, and that is being married to the wrong woman who will be assured to raise wayward and troublesome children while you spend your life finding reasons to avoid her and the home you built.
Proverb 19 (NKJV)
The Fear of the Lord Leads to Life
01 Better is the poor who walks in his integrity
00 Than one who is perverse in his lips, and is a fool.
02 Also it is not good for a soul to be without knowledge,
00 And he sins who hastens with his feet.
03 The foolishness of a man twists his way,
00 And his heart frets against the LORD.
04 Wealth makes many friends,
00 But the poor is separated from his friend.
05 A false witness will not go unpunished,
00 And he who speaks lies will not escape.
06 Many entreat the favor of the nobility,
00 And every man is a friend to one who gives gifts.
07 All the brothers of the poor hate him;
00 How much more do his friends go far from him!
00 He may pursue them with words, yet they abandon him.
08 He who gets wisdom loves his own soul;
00 He who keeps understanding will find good.
09 A false witness will not go unpunished,
00 And he who speaks lies shall perish.
10 Luxury is not fitting for a fool,
00 Much less for a servant to rule over princes.
11 The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger,
00 And his glory is to overlook a transgression.
12 The king's wrath is like the roaring of a lion,
00 But his favor is like dew on the grass.
13 A foolish son is the ruin of his father,
00 And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping.
14 Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers,
00 But a prudent wife is from the LORD.
15 Laziness casts one into a deep sleep,
00 And an idle person will suffer hunger.
16 He who keeps the commandment keeps his soul,
00 But he who is careless of his ways will die.
17 He who has pity on the poor lends to the LORD,
00 And He will pay back what he has given.
18 Chasten your son while there is hope,
00 And do not set your heart on his destruction.
19 A man of great wrath will suffer punishment;
00 For if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.
20 Listen to counsel and receive instruction,
00 That you may be wise in your latter days.
21 There are many plans in a man's heart,
00 Nevertheless the LORD's counsel--that will stand.
22 What is desired in a man is kindness,
00 And a poor man is better than a liar.
23 The fear of the LORD leads to life,
00 And he who has it will abide in satisfaction;
00 He will not be visited with evil.
24 A lazy man buries his hand in the bowl,
00 And will not so much as bring it to his mouth again.
25 Strike a scoffer, and the simple will become wary;
00 Rebuke one who has understanding, and he will discern knowledge.
26 He who mistreats his father and chases away his mother
00 Is a son who causes shame and brings reproach.
27 Cease listening to instruction, my son,
00 And you will stray from the words of knowledge.
28 A disreputable witness scorns justice,
00 And the mouth of the wicked devours iniquity.
29 Judgments are prepared for scoffers,
00 And beatings for the backs of fools.
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